Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #2 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #2

Clarify then seek to meet each other’s needs. 

Have a candid discussion with your spouse to find out his/her needs and relay yours also, then agree to in as much as possible meet each other’s needs.

According to Willard F Harley Jr’s book “His Needs, Her Needs”, the top five needs for men are, “sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support and admiration” and the top five needs of  women are, “affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support and family commitment”.

Of course this is not written in stone, but it gives a general idea of the kinds of issues that are important to members of the opposite sex. The key is for each spouse to clarify exactly what his/her needs are, communicate them to each other and then for each to seek to meet the expressed needs.

If your needs are not being met, do not hide it from your spouse and harbor resentment or even worse, seek to have them met elsewhere. Instead, speak up about it in a loving and constructive manner with a view to remediating the problem and patiently trying to work it through.

There will undoubtedly be times in your marriage when in spite of your efforts or your spouses efforts, needs are not met. When this happens, be reminded that this does not alter God’s standard in regard to adultery.

During these seasons, self-denial may be necessary to preserve the sanctity of your marriage and your covenant with God. It is in these times that drawing on your faith in God’s ability to help, keep and sustain you in spite of what you are experiencing will be key.

Remember, God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all you can ask think or imagine according to the power that works in you (Ephesians 3:20) and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). The work is to believe!

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #3

Peace & Blessings!


Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Silver Wedding Rings” by Boykung courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net



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