Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #3 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #3

Keep the sex alive and fulfilling.

Keeping the sexual relationship between you and your spouse alive and fulfilling is a strong deterrent to adultery. The Word of God addresses this issue in I Corinthians 7:1-5.

“Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.” – (The Message Bible)

Generally speaking, the stronger the relationship between you and your spouse as a whole, the better your chances of a satisfying sex life and subsequently, of avoiding adultery.

As such, date your spouse. Keep the romance alive. Compliment and encourage him/her. Show him/her appreciation and support. Keep emotionally connected to your spouse through meaningful, intimate conversation. Spend quality time doing enjoyable things together. Seek to minimize and/or quickly resolve conflicts; agree  to disagree if you have to. Be openly affectionate through hugs, touches and kisses. Tell your spouse “I love you” and mean it.

Make every effort to be healthy and as physically attractive and desirable to your spouse as possible.

Be wary of falling into the rut of familiarity and “letting yourself go” by neglecting to maintain good grooming and hygiene, dressing any old kind of way at home and/or when going out, gaining excessive weight, no longer caring how your conduct or physical appearance affects your spouse’s degree of attractiveness to you, etc.

Show your spouse you desire him/her physically.

Minimize bedroom boredom and routine by being creative, innovative, uninhibited and unashamed in mutually fulfilling ways. Avoid practices that are uncomfortable and/or a violation of you or your spouse’s conscience. Although increasingly popular and pushed by some as a viable solution to marital sexual enhancement, avoid the snare of using pornography or extra-marital fantasies to “improve” your sex life.

In Matthew 5:27, 28, Jesus states, You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”

If you are thinking of or visualizing another woman/man while making love to your spouse, the marriage bed is spiritually defiled with adultery. 

When extra-marital fantasies enter the marriage bed, whether they originate from pornography or lustful thoughts about someone you came in contact with during the course of your day, such mental adultery brings defilement and sin which inevitably births death and not life in your sexual and marital relationship with your spouse.

Practicing the above will help to enhance the overall sexual health of your marriage and help to keep the sex alive and fulfilling, which in turn will help to protect your marriage against adultery.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #4

Peace & Blessings!


Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Holding Hands” by xeodos4 courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net