Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #5 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #5

Spend time doing things together.

One of the most common ways that intimacy, a sense of connectedness and even general communication is lost in a marriage is by spouses not spending enough time together.

It was spending time together that was key in creating your relationship with your spouse and it is spending time together that will help preserve it.

Beware of contracting the lethal “two ships passing in the night syndrome” i.e., you and your spouse becoming so enmeshed in your own worlds, or so caught up in daily responsibilities, schedules, and commitments, that you spend little or no time with each other and end up simply sharing the same living space with little or no meaningful contact.

In the same vein, beware also of investing so much time and energy in your career, work, church, personal interests, and/or children that you have little or none of yourself left to invest in your relationship with your spouse resulting in him/her feeling neglected or unvalued and therefore more vulnerable to others outside of your marital relationship who will be happy to give him/her the needed attention and sense of value that is lacking. 

Whatever the precipitating circumstances, seek to avoid this kind of distance/disconnect between you and your spouse at all cost as it can be very dangerous to a marital relationship. 

Spend time doing things together with your spouse, whether something recreational, a home project, some form of exercise, a lunch or dinner date, a walk on the beach or in a park, watching a movie, sitting and talking, or some other activity that you both enjoy. 

Occasionally do an activity that he/she enjoys even if you do not particularly enjoy it. This will go a long way in showing how much you care. Whatever the case, always make time to do things together and let it be quality time, not just time spent for spending time’s sake. There is a difference.

Spending time together with your spouse, talking together, being physically intimate together, laughing together, working together, playing together, and praying together will all help to strengthen and protect your marriage against adultery / extramarital affairs………..the key word is “together”.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #6

Peace & Blessings!


Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Lovers” by Rosen Georgiev courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net



  1. I would need an advice. i ve been wit my huzy 4 2yrs now we find it very deficult to eat and not a word of comfort from him. Whenever i complain he wil tel me to live if am tired. Pis wat wil i do

  2. Hi Tosy Susan, it sounds like your husband is really stressed over the fact that your financial situation is so difficult that he is hardly able to provide food for you both to eat and because he already does not know how to better the situation at this point, when you complain, he becomes mentally and emotionally overwhelmed by the situation and out of his frustration tells you if you are tired, you can leave. It sounds like it’s not that he does not want to comfort you, its more so that he does not have the emotional reserves to comfort you right now because he himself needs comfort and encouragement. I know the situation is hard for you as well, but perhaps if you try to comfort and encourage him and let him know that somehow with God’s help you both will come through this trial, it may strengthen him and you both can be more available for each other during this difficult time. Hope this is helpful. I pray that the Lord’s strength, comfort and wisdom may greatly rest upon you. Know that to everything there is a season so at some point, this trial will end. You can email me at unwalledblog@gmail.com if you desire to communicate further. God bless you…….Kim

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