Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #7 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #7

Pray with your spouse regularly.

Praying with your spouse on a regular basis is a powerful weapon against adultery because not only does praying together act as a point of spiritual accountability in your marriage both to God and to each other, it also:

  • Helps to keep Christ at the center of your marriage 
  • Strengthens the bond you have with your spouse in the spirit realm
  • Helps keep the marital covenant you made before God at the forefront of your mind
  • Fosters a deep level of intimacy with your spouse.

Pray for and with your spouse regularly.

Ask your spouse if he/she has any specific issues that he/she would like for you to pray together about; keep in mind that no issue is too big or too small to table together before the Lord.

Pray about any and everything the Lord lays on your heart or your spouse’s heart to pray about whether your marital relationship, children, finances, spiritual life, commitments, challenges, worries, temptations, fears, work, church, sex life, whatever.

Make faith prayer declarations over your marriage. E.g., “In the name of Jesus I decree and declare that my marriage is governed by Christ. My wife/husband is the woman/man that God has called her/him to be. We love, respect and support each other, communicate honestly and openly with each other, meet each other’s needs, and are unified. My desire is for my wife/husband alone and my wife’s/husband’s desire is for me alone. Our sexual relations are pure, mutually fulfilling and our marriage bed is undefiled.”

If you are not comfortable praying out loud, perhaps you can hold hands and pray silently together and once you become more comfortable, move to praying out loud.

Praying for and with your spouse  regularly will help protect your marriage against adultery/extra marital affairs.

Spiritual intimacy in a marriage, i.e., a husband and wife connecting and being open with each other through their faith in God and prayer, helps “glue” a marital relationship together and fosters one of the deepest bonds a couple can share.

Unless you have a seared  conscience, it would be very difficult to come into the presence of the Lord with your spouse to pray on a regular basis and be involved in an adulterous affair at the same time – Selah.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #8.

Peace & Blessings!


Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Marriage” by Salvatore Vuono courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net



  1. I understand the purpose of this article, but quite honestly, if someone wants to be unfaithful-they’re going to be unfaithful. You could be the best spouse in the world. That won’t stop someone from cheating. Sorry to sound so negative.

  2. Hi Ms. Raven Marie………I don’t see your comment as negative, but as real……if someone wants to be unfaithful, they will. The purpose of the series is to provide “tips” that if practiced can help protect a marriage against adultery, not guarantee protection. Thanks for stopping by and God bless……..Kim

  3. I want to add also that it’s good to be the best spouse you can be because if for some reason your marriage fails, at least you can rest in the fact that you did the best you could and not be plagued by regret.

  4. Yes, adultery is happening alot lately. I have a couple who is dealing with this. Would you please, all who read this comment, and you Kim and your husband pray for Tom and Lydia? The “ideal” family, married for close to 50 years, 5 beautiful grown children, 20-some grandchildren. When Lydia called to tell me the “news” my soul was in shock, sadness and grief. I am a believer that when such a thing happens, God can and will intervene, if we pray, even though it may be a long time before healing occurs. As long as someone holds up the banner of faith (prays in faith believing) I honestly think God will move, because it is His will for couples to stay together and honor Him. Will you stand with me as I pray for them?

  5. Hi Patti…….I will join with you and pray for Tom and Lydia and will ask my husband to do the same…….my heart really goes out to them; just reading your comment sent waves through my mind and emotions; after so many years of marriage, what devastating news!……the enemy has really upped his attack against marriages, especially those in the Body of Christ, but like you, I believe that God can intervene and heal any situation if we pray and believe for He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask, think or imagine. Healing may take a while, but nothing is to hard for our God…..the work is to believe…..God bless you…..Kim

  6. Peace and blessings to you too, dear Kim. Thanks for sharing your strong and heartfelt prayers with us all. I am from a different faith, but have great love and respect for the Blessed Virgin Mary, our Beloved Mother, and her son. Have been reading “the Hedge of Thorns” past 8 weeks with all my heart, for reasons you all know of! Am also repeating it several times a day, and asking God to protect his most sacred institution, marriage, universally! May God send forth his Holy Spirit, Light, & Guidance to convict all spouses who’ve gone astray, so that they’ll realize how much they have offended his infinite goodness. My heart goes out to all women and men going through the trauma of discovering their spouse’s adultery. Not a nice place to be in! Please keep the faith, and ask God to surround your life, spouse, and marriage, & for him to guide you towards forgiveness, healing, and mending your marriage. Let’s keep those prayers coming! God bless you all.

  7. Sharing your passion about the sacredness of marriage and compassion for those who have adulterous spouses is appreciated…..thank you for visiting Unwalled and for sharing your heart and your prayers….God bless you.

  8. Thank you very much, dear Kim. I appreciate your responding to my message and your kind words. Praying for you and all our sisters here. May God’s light, love, guidance and goodness prevail in all our homes above all other forces. “FAMILIES ARE ETERNAL”. Amen

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