TEN TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #8)

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST

ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #8)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #8 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #8

Guard Your Thought Life

 No one suddenly decides to have an extramarital affair.

A spouse who commits adultery has been unfaithful in his or her heart and mind long before he or she begins an affair.

All adultery begins in the mind with a thought so this is why guarding your thought life is an important strategy to help protect your marriage against adultery.

Entertaining, nurturing and or meditating on lustful thoughts about someone other than your spouse or on the prospect of an affair will increase the likelihood that you engage in an adulterous relationship.

Instead, cast those thoughts down and focus your mind on what the Word of God says about marriage and adultery and on thoughts that will kill lustful desires, strengthen your spirit man and increase your propensity to remain faithful to your spouse.

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

(II Corinthians 10:4, 5 – NIV, 1984)

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” 

(Philippians 4:8 – NIV, 1984)

When faced with the prospect of an adulterous relationship, the first, best and most powerful line of defense you have is in your mind.

If you take your mind off of what the Word of God says about adultery and focus your thoughts on what you believe would be the pleasurable aspects of an extramarital relationship, then you will automatically increase the likelihood that you will cheat on your spouse.

Conversely, if you set your mind on what the Word of God has to say about adultery and your thoughts on the damaging aspects of an extramarital relationship, then you automatically decrease the likelihood that you will cheat on your spouse.

So rather than focusing on thoughts that will draw you toward committing this sin, instead focus your thoughts on what will draw you toward God and away from committing it.

Focus them on how the Word condemns such a relationship, on God’s love for you and Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for you, on the responsibility that you have to God when it comes to your blood bought body, and on the inevitable damage that such a relationship would bring to you, your spouse, your natural and spiritual family and most of all, your relationship with God.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” 

(Proverbs 4:23 – NIV).

Remember, nobody wakes up one day and suddenly decides to have an extramarital affair.

Whatever you focus on in your mind becomes magnified in your life; what you behold, you become.

All adultery begins in the mind so help protect your marriage against adultery by vigilantly guarding your thought life.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #9.

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Romantic Couple” by Digitalart courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

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10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP#6)

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST

ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #6)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #6 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #6

Monitor your interaction with the opposite sex and keep appropriate boundaries.

As a married person, it is important for you to monitor your interaction with members of the opposite sex and keep appropriate boundaries. 

Don’t flirt and don’t encourage others who flirt with you. Avoid inappropriate eye contact and avoid making comments about personal aspects of an individual such as their hair, skin, shape, scent, muscles, chest etc. that may be interpreted sexually. Flirting communicates availability and as a married person, you are no longer available to anyone but your spouse.

Stay away from sex talk, sexually laced email, texts, and websites. Avoid casual touching. Avoid private coffee breaks, lunches and/or dinners, and in as much as possible, traveling alone with members of the opposite sex. Don’t share details of your marriage relationship, particularly problems with a member of the opposite sex.

Beware of leaning on or looking to members of the opposite sex for ego-boosts, self-esteem boosts, sexual-esteem boosts, appreciation, tenderness, value and/or respect. Do not do anything with or say anything to someone of the opposite sex that you would not do or say in the presence of your spouse or be comfortable telling your spouse about.

If you feel sexually attracted to someone who you have to come into regular contact with, do not act on even reveal the attraction to him/her. If you are tempted to stray, if not your spouse, find a Spirit-filled Believer that upholds the covenant of marriage who you can confide in and who can pray with, advise, guide and be a source of accountability for you so that you can work through and not yield to the temptation.

Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom in all your interaction with members of the opposite sex. Ask Him to help you discern even the subtlest trap of the enemy that could lead you down the dark path of sexual sin.

In as much as possible stay away from anyone or anything that can lead relationships beyond platonic boundaries.

Monitoring your interaction with members of the opposite sex and keeping appropriate boundaries will help protect your marriage against adultery/extra marital affairs.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #7

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Rings on Rose Petals” by Jomphong courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #3)

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST

ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #3)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #3 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #3

Keep the sex alive and fulfilling.

Keeping the sexual relationship between you and your spouse alive and fulfilling is a strong deterrent to adultery. The Word of God addresses this issue in I Corinthians 7:1-5.

“Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.” – (The Message Bible)

Generally speaking, the stronger the relationship between you and your spouse as a whole, the better your chances of a satisfying sex life and subsequently, of avoiding adultery.

As such, date your spouse. Keep the romance alive. Compliment and encourage him/her. Show him/her appreciation and support. Keep emotionally connected to your spouse through meaningful, intimate conversation. Spend quality time doing enjoyable things together. Seek to minimize and/or quickly resolve conflicts; agree  to disagree if you have to. Be openly affectionate through hugs, touches and kisses. Tell your spouse “I love you” and mean it.

Make every effort to be healthy and as physically attractive and desirable to your spouse as possible.

Be wary of falling into the rut of familiarity and “letting yourself go” by neglecting to maintain good grooming and hygiene, dressing any old kind of way at home and/or when going out, gaining excessive weight, no longer caring how your conduct or physical appearance affects your spouse’s degree of attractiveness to you, etc.

Show your spouse you desire him/her physically.

Minimize bedroom boredom and routine by being creative, innovative, uninhibited and unashamed in mutually fulfilling ways. Avoid practices that are uncomfortable and/or a violation of you or your spouse’s conscience. Although increasingly popular and pushed by some as a viable solution to marital sexual enhancement, avoid the snare of using pornography or extra-marital fantasies to “improve” your sex life.

In Matthew 5:27, 28, Jesus states, You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”

If you are thinking of or visualizing another woman/man while making love to your spouse, the marriage bed is spiritually defiled with adultery. 

When extra-marital fantasies enter the marriage bed, whether they originate from pornography or lustful thoughts about someone you came in contact with during the course of your day, such mental adultery brings defilement and sin which inevitably births death and not life in your sexual and marital relationship with your spouse.

Practicing the above will help to enhance the overall sexual health of your marriage and help to keep the sex alive and fulfilling, which in turn will help to protect your marriage against adultery.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #4

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Holding Hands” by xeodos4 courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP #1)

10 TIPS TO HELP PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE AGAINST ADULTERY / EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIRS – (TIP # 1)

“TOGETHER FOREVER”

Adultery –“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband” 

(Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary)

Of late, many Christian women that I either know personally or Christian friends or associates of these women were shattered by the discovery of their husband’s involvement in an extra-marital affair, or multiple affairs.

At some point, a door opened in the marital relationship that led from one thing to the next and now, in some cases after 20-25 years of marriage, the specter of divorce looms menacingly over a covenant relationship that once brought joy and fulfillment to the husband and wife and glory to God.

Many in today’s permissive society consider extramarital sex as acceptable and blameless, however in God’s view, this is not so. His sexual standard for marriage is fidelity, i.e. sexual relations between a man and his wife or a woman and her husband only.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

(Exodus 20:14 – KJV)

“No adultery.”

(Deuteronomy 5:18 – The Message)

 “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – NLT)

“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”

(Hebrews 13:4 – The Message)

God’s stand on extramarital sex is clear. He makes absolutely no room for sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse and provides no exceptions to His rule.

In light of this, here is TIP #1 to help protect your marriage against adultery.

TIP #1

Understand that you are in covenant relationship bound by God.

Your marriage is not just about your relationship with your spouse. It is a covenant that you made in the presence of others and God that God sanctioned, bound and sealed when you and your spouse made a commitment to each other before Him.

Placing your love for and commitment to God in the marital relationship in a higher place of priority than your love for and commitment to your spouse is a great defense against adultery because in instances where your love for and commitment to your spouse is not strong enough to help you resist sexual temptation, your love for and commitment to God can give you the added strength you need.

When your spouse fails or annoys you in some way and the enemy tempts you to venture outside your marital relationship for solace or revenge, if in a higher place of authority than your love for and commitment to your spouse, your love for and commitment to God in the marital covenant can serve as a buffer and  empower you to realign your thoughts and behavior with His will, thereby protecting your marriage as opposed to making a choice that will damage it.

As a Believing spouse, it is important for you to recognize and understand your personal responsibility and accountability to God in the marital covenant. So often we hear, “if my wife/husband did/didn’t, would/wouldn’t, had/hadn’t, etc. then I would not have engaged in an affair.” Be keenly aware that this reasoning will never stand with God because His stand on marital fidelity  is absolute and will not change according to our situations, wants, needs or desires.

Be not deceived, no matter the circumstances, in God’s eyes you can never justify a decision to get involved in an extra-marital relationship because of something your spouse did or did not do.

If you choose to engage in an affair, you simultaneously choose to violate the marital covenant that you made before God, to violate His Word and holy standard for marriage, and to therefore sin against Him and He will hold you accountable for that. The incident in Genesis chapter 3 concerning satan, Adam, Eve and the forbidden fruit clearly shows that God does not play the blame game.

The prevalence of marital infidelity is sad, disturbing, and extremely grievous to the Holy Spirit of God.

Fellow Christians/Believers in Christ/Kingdom Ambassadors/Saints, by the grace of God, let’s do all we can to protect our marriages and keep them away from the snare of adultery / extramarital affairs and encourage others to do the same all to the honor and glory of God.

Visit again for TIP #2

Peace & Blessings!

Kim

Copyright © 2012 by Kim, Author of “Unwalled” Blog, All rights reserved.

Image “Ring Love Together Forever” by vichie 81 courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.Net